


Bar

by TiffanyF



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyF/pseuds/TiffanyF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based off a line from the second episode of "Agents of SHIELD" and is being written as a thank you to all my wonderful readers for your support, kudos, and comments. Okay, summary: Tony gets an idea in his head and there's no shaking it out. Not really a crossover, but I suppose it could be seen that way in certain lights. I don't own anything here, I'm just playing around. Definitely not making money from these pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bar

**Author's Note:**

> Fury just sounded so wistful when he was talking about the bar, I sort of had to give him one on the Helicarrier.

Tony Stark looked around at his team. "I make it a point to give people what they want," he said. "Even if they don't really know they want it. Come on, guys, this is totally a good idea and all I need is for you to distract our one-eyes pirate boss for three hours."

Clint looked over at his lover. Somehow he had a feeling they would be the ones in charge of distracting. "How, exactly, do you propose we do that, Tony?" Phil asked calmly, as if they weren't talking about a scheme that, if it blew up on them, would end up with all of them in the brig for a week for daring to annoy Director Fury on a Wednesday. The last agent brought up on that particular charge still wouldn't talk about his punishment.

"You're the experts at paperwork, find something," Tony said. "Bruce, Steve, I'll need your help getting everything set up. Natasha, you can..."

"I'm not getting involved in this," Natasha said.

"I was going to say that you can go buy the alcohol for us," Tony finished. "But I guess we do need a selection, not just vodka. I'll send Happy. He'll know what to get."

"He has the experience," Natasha commented, pushing back from the table. 

"That hurts, Widow," Tony said, clasping his hands over his heart. "But it is true, so I'll totally give you that one. Come on, people, we have a bar to install on the Helicarrier. If we can keep Fury happy then maybe he'll quit watching us so closely and we can relax."

"That so isn't ever going to happen," Clint sighed.  
****

"We're doing this why?" Clint asked an hour later as he followed his lover through the halls of the Helicarrier. They were both carrying a box of files.

"Because I think it's not a bad base idea," Phil replied. "There's no way that Director Fury will ever agree in advance, so surprising him, while dangerous, is the only way to do this. I actually do have to go over all these files with Fury, so he won't think anything of the visit."

Barton looked down at the box he was carrying. "I don't want to know what's in these files, do I?" he finally said.

"Those are mostly the reports on Tony's experiments and projects," Coulson said. He tapped on Fury's office door and opened it. "Director Fury, Sir, I've brought the weekly files on the Avengers."

"Is it that time of week already, Coulson?" Fury asked.

"I'm afraid so, Sir," Coulson replied. "Thank you for your help carrying these in, Barton. Would you be willing to go down to the mess and get us lunch, please? I'm afraid the Director and I will be tied up with paperwork for the next few hours."

"Yes, Sir," Clint said. "Director Fury, Sir, should I bring you some of your migraine medicine too?"

"Please," Fury sighed.

"Be right back, Sir," Barton said. He put his box down quietly and left, shutting the door silently behind him.

"Are you okay, Nick?" Phil asked, sitting down opposite the desk.

Fury looked right at him. "I know that Stark is up to something, Phil," he said. "I know that he's roped the whole team into his latest insane plot. I'm just trying to work out what you and your husband are doing helping him."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Nick."

"Don't try to bullshit me, Phil. Your poker face might work on everyone else, but I know you," Fury said. "Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on on my boat?"

"Everything is in order as far as I know, Sir," Coulson said. "Can I bring your attention to the report of Tony blowing up not only his lab but the two neighboring ones with nothing more than a blowtorch and the latest adjustment to his armor?"  
****

"Tony, are you sure this is a good idea?" Steve asked, holding up a glass top to the bar that they'd already put together. "I mean, what if they have another engine failure and everything in here breaks. It could be a fire risk."

"Which is why everything will be secure by the time I'm done," Tony replied. He slid the last fastener into place and picked up the drill. "Look, I heard what Fury said and this is something that everyone on the Helicarrier will be able to enjoy at some point or another. You know that military people like to have a drink in their downtime, Steve."

That was a fair point, but Steve wasn't sure about putting in a full bar on SHIELD's Helicarrier without permission from the Director. "Okay, let it down," Tony said. "Bruce, how are those stools coming together?"

"Slowly," Bruce said, pushing his glasses back into place. "I have to agree with Steve on one point, Tony. We really should have at least asked for permission to be down here doing this. I don't think making it a surprise is that great of an idea."

"Agent didn't object and he's covering for us with Fury," Tony said. He flicked a switch and a soft glow came up from below the frosted green glass. "Wicked, that works. Okay, shelves next. Cap, you want to help Bruce with the furniture. I want to have this done by supper time. Chop chop."

Steve sighed and went to sit next to Bruce on the floor. He wasn't even sure what he was doing there. It was remarkable how Tony was able to sweep people up and get them to do things either for or with him. Steve figured he should at least be grateful that Tony wasn't trying to blow anything up. The explosion down in the labs had been bad enough. Too many bad memories from battle, he figured. Steve wasn't fond of any sort of explosion. He picked up a screwdriver and looked at the directions spread out on the floor. The things he found himself doing.  
****

Barton spent some time at the range and then haunting the bridge, just watching. He knew that he made the bridge staff nervous, but they would have to get used to having him back eventually. "Barton."

"Hey Hill, what's new?" he asked.

"Not a lot, what are you doing up here?"

"Waiting for Coulson to finish a meeting with the Director," he said. "I would still be at the range, but they kicked me out. Something about Coulson putting a restriction on how long I can be in there these days."

"It's not like you to give in without a fight," Hill said.

He grinned. "I'm hoping for a good night."

"More than I wanted to know," she said. "There's the Director."

"With Coulson unless I miss my guess." Barton sketched a salute and headed out into the hall. "Director, Coulson."

"I just got word that Stark has been busy in one of the lower storage room," Fury said. "Seems that Coulson here was helping to keep me busy so I wouldn't go looking into it."

"Really? Shame on you, Coulson," Clint said. "Want me to punish him tonight, Director?"

"I do not want to know what you do behind closed doors, Barton," Fury snapped. "I'm sure you're a part of this too. Fall in, now."

"Yes, Sir," Clint said.

Coulson glanced over at him. "Punish me, Barton?"

"You have no idea, Coulson," Clint said. "I've been shopping online, Tony's been helping."

"You have not," Coulson said.

"Are you sure of that, Sir?" 

"Enough, the both of you," Fury snapped. "Get in the elevator now and if I hear one more word before I've found Stark, you're both on deck cleaning duty. I don't care what it will do to your reputations."

The pair fell silent, although Barton wanted to ask why Fury hated Wednesdays so much. He'd have to remember to ask Coulson when they were back at the Tower later that night. They followed Fury out into a lesser used corridor in the lower part of the Helicarrier and down to the door that Tony had chosen to be working behind. Fury pushed the door open and then stopped, looking around.

It wasn't overdone, Steve had seen to that. The bar glowed softly off to one side, curved slightly towards the wall on both ends, but not sticking out into the room overly much. Stools were fastened to the floor at comfortable spaces, and a couple of tables were bolted down across the room. Liquor bottles glowed under their own lights, each one in a catch that would hold it in place if there was any violent moves from the Helicarrier. Quality plastic glassware lined the undershelf behind the bar. "Surprise, Nick," Tony said with a smile.

"You built a bar on my boat," Fury said.

"Just for you," Tony said. "I couldn't help but overhear a comment you made a few weeks ago and I started planning this out as a surprise for you. The door locks, you can control when people are in here and I did everything I could to make the room safe for flight. Don't want people getting cut from bottles flying around in here."

Fury walked over to the bar and looked down at it. "Stark."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Tony said. "You're welcome. Drink?"

"Why not," Fury sighed. "Give me the key first though."

Tony slid it across the table. "I have a copy for Coulson, just in case," he said. "Two keys, Nick. No more anywhere in the world. This is yours and you get to pick who gets in here."  
****

"Phil, what was up with that little display at the end there?" Barton asked when they were safely back in their room at the Tower.

"Tomorrow is Nick's birthday," Coulson replied. "He hates being reminded of it, so no one else knows. Somehow Tony found out about an old bar that Nick is fond of and built a replica for him. It's why I didn't object. I knew that Nick would be okay with it."

"Softy," Barton said. "Tony never said anything about the birthday. I would have been a little more open to helping if I'd known."

"That's Tony for you. He's always got a surprise up his sleeve."

Barton laughed. "Especially this weekend. I heard him saying something about snakes."

"I don't want to know," Coulson sighed, rubbing his eyes.


End file.
